This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
