Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Enjoy the penises
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
