I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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