How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i think my cat just said my name.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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