Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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