I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
