Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
