My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
