Your face is a jimmy john
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
