Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
