it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize