So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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