But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
