i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
