So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
