Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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