2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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