people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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