The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
