Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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