Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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