I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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