You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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