Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Two words: blizzard sex
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
