I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
