just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
