dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
