were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
