I should be sponsored by Trojan
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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