he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize