Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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