I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
