well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I love having hate sex.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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