I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
