it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
