Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize