I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i will never coherently bang her
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
