Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
