1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
