And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize