You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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