Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.