Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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