Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
