so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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