he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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