everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
