he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
