walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
