I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
