I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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