You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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