So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
