this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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