my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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