awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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