Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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