just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
