Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
