Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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