Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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