Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
