Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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