I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
