I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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