I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
