i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
