hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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